In my airline (Lufthansa) the pilots could choose from the First Class Menu. No difference between pilot and co-pilot. It depended also on catering. Priority was of course given to the passengers, so only what was left could go to the cockpit. And since the flight attendants are the ones who control it, the cockpit crew had to be nice to get some of the delicious first class food. I used to work mostly in business class. I avoided to work in first class because to me it was all a bit too much there (maybe because I come from a regular working class family). The businessclas meals in my company were generally speaking very good. No need for caviar! And on the occasions that there was no first class, the cockpit had to share the leftovers meals with the cabin crew. On some flights, where it was known that almost always all the meals were distributed under the passengers and no meals were left, we had the possibility to order crew-meals one hour before the flight, for which we had to pay ourselves.
About that list... this is a first that I hear about it. In my company there was as far as I know no such thing.
About the difference in price between the classes, it is not only the service on board, but also the service outside and the extra amounts of bagage you can bring. First class passengers have their own lounge at many airports, they can board the plane faster than economy passengers or even businessclass passengers and are also the ones that can get off board first. I don't recall all the extra's you have as a first class passenger, but it is plenty enough to make it count. Rescheduling your flight in First or Businessclass is always free, whilst many economy tickets it is costly to do so.
It happened once to me, many years ago that a man died on a flight from Frankfurt to New York, just after the first meal. After his death was affirmed by medical doctors, I carried the body, together with one of his sons (he was an old man) to the back of the plane, where we had the last row emptied and put him to rest there. It was a strange thing, as it was the first time that I ever held a dead person... That was about 30 years ago, as I'm already retired for 10 years.... but something like that you'll never forget.