I guess it depends on the kind of road / path you have available in your region. As you said gravel bike is made for back road network away from the big majority of car traffic. That said where I live, that network is at least still 80% road (albeit not that smooth) and the gravel part is mostly hard packed dirt/gravel so pretty fast rolling anyway. So for my used case (and frankly, most of the european cyclist one), the perfect gravel bike is close to en endurance road bike, with a slightly longer wheelbase, no suspension, and 35 to 45mm tires depending on the thread pattern, the kind of terrain you ride, and the rims you have. If you live in a relatively flat area, narrower handlebars with next to no flare and deeper rims is gonna make more difference to the effort you produc than big tires and suspension.
That said, the wider choice of gearing and internal gearbox is a welcome addition to biking in general.